Being a single mum definitely has its own Unique set of challenges and it can be hard to see how you can survive let alone start thriving as a single mum. You’re running on coffee and a chocolate biscuit, you haven’t stepped foot in a salon in months, the house looks like a scene from how clean is your house, and you struggle to see how you can ever feel sexy again when you have a screaming human hanging off your tit permanently! But I am telling you it is possible with the Ultimate Guide To Thriving As A Single Mum.

Living your most abundant life filled with joy and happiness as a single- parent household when you feel like your life is a mess and you really don’t have your shit together sometimes feels impossible- but it really isn’t.

I’m not here to tell you that you need to just mop up your tears and get on with it. It isn’t that easy.

Being a single mum is hard and it may take some work to get out of survival mode and into alignment with the best version of yourself.

So here are some tips on where to start.

Create An unshakeable Mindset

If you take nothing else away from this post, one thing I want you to remind yourself of is that you are stronger than you think!

Running single-parent households is no easy feat… that is a given. You are the one who is holding it all down and you do it like a boss… even when you don’t think so! 

You are the one who wakes up through the night with a screaming baby that just will not settle yet you still manage to get to work/ school on time… even if it is by the skin of your teeth.

You are the one running your teens to their various clubs or social activities (who probably aren’t always particularly grateful).

You deal with tantrums and messes and everything in between. 

You are resilient and resourceful and will do whatever it takes to provide a safe environment for your children, even when it is so hard!

When your child needs something you make it happen as best you can, and you often do it without the help of that second parent!

One of my favourite single mum quotes is:

“There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.” – Stephanie Precourt

Ok, It isn’t always pretty, it’s bloody hard work and we are often plagued with the single mum guilt… which makes it hard to maintain a positive outlook on life, but you are doing it and you are doing it alone. 

Start reframing your mindset from your shortcomings as a single parent and focus on your successes and strengths.

If you find yourself feeling guilty about working and not making it to one of your child’s events, just remind yourself that you are always putting your family’s needs first, and you can always make up for it by spending some quality time with them at the weekend.

And whatever you do, stop comparing yourself to others!

It can be so easy to look at other mums who have a partner and a lovely clean home and wonder how they are doing it all, but they are doing it all because they have the help and support in one form or another from the other parent. 

Focus on what you can control. Redirect your energy from worrying about societal expectations (like having the “perfect family”) to creating a nurturing environment for your kids, which you are probably already doing. 

Embrace the imperfections of your life and be bloody proud of yourself.

So stop with the perfectionism or comparing yourself to the two-parent households who look like they are doing more than you!

Perfection is the thief of joy! And so is Comparison! 

Become The Queen of Time Management

Ok, so you have a million and one things to do before you even get to work, then you have another million and one things to do when you come home.

You are juggling child care issues, grocery shopping, your professional life, cooking, cleaning, and everything in between whilst keeping your mental health in tact.

How do you manage all of this?

like a Boss! 

As a solo parent, the only way you are going to handle the workload of two people is to Create a daily routine that makes your life simpler. 

Check out this post on How You can Create a Daily Routine To help you Thrive as a single mum.

But for now start by writing down every single thing you need to get done in the day… seriously write down literally everything, including the things you need to do for yourself- very important.

And then time block each activity into your diary. 

I love having things written down the old fashioned way… I don’t know why, but it just sticks more if I physically write things down. But there are also lots of great apps for scheduling your day such as Asana, Todoist, and good old Google Calendar!

Another great tip is to find ways to simplify the everyday things, such as getting an online food shop or meal prepping on a sunday afternoon. These two things alone can save you an extra hour or two during a busy week!

Become A financial Savvy Single Mum

One piece of advice I could not miss out is to get your finances in order! Yes, I know it is daunting especially if you are a newly single parent, or you have been burying your head in the sand when it comes to your money and you are feeling the financial pressures of being a one income household.

But I cannot stress this enough… set aside time to get your financial shit together!

If you can eliminate the financial challenges of being a single parent then you will find it so much easier to thrive and not just survive!

Sit down and have a good look at your incomings and outgoings and see what your money is doing. If you find that there just isn’t enough money to go around or you are drowning in debt then I suggest looking at ways to bring in some extra cash.

You could try a new side hustle, check that you are in receipt of all the benefits you are entitled to, or ask for a raise in your current job.

Once you have the boring bit out of the way, you can start looking at setting some money goals that will benefit yours and your child’s life.

Maybe you and the kids deserve a holiday next year, or maybe you want to become debt free, start working out how much you need to put aside to make that a reality. 

The place I would suggest you start though is creating an emergency fund. This is a pot of money to be used in emergencies only! It is usually wise to save enough to cover 3-6 months of expenses, but that can seem quite daunting, so even just saving £1000 to start off with will be beneficial and trust me it is so worth having that money to fall back on!

I am in no way saying that it is easy, but it is doable and you won’t regret it. I spent so many times scrimping and scraping to get by when an emergency situation arose, and it was not fun.

Sometimes it was completely out of my hands, like money not coming through when it should, car trouble, or a big house move that drained my account more than it should have.

And sometimes it was wanting to get out of a crappy situation I was in, but because I didn’t have an emergency fund put aside I was quite literally screwed!

And my mental health suffered as a result.

Make Self-care A Priority

I know, I know, you are probably sick of hearing it, but I am going to say it anyway! Self-care is not Selfish! In fact it is a non-negotiable if you want to be the best parent you can be!

You literally cannot pour from an empty cup and as a single parent you need to prioritise taking care of yourself so you can show up fully for your kids! 

Self-care can range from making sure you shower everyday when you have a newborn, to blocking out longer periods of time just for you to go to a class, or the hairdressers.

Check out these simple self-care Ideas For Single Mums.

It isn’t always about long soaks in the tub (although that is my fave!), but it is also about personal development, working towards your goals, making yourself look and feel good! It is about building your confidence, positive mindset and inner strength to face whatever comes your way!

Some of the ways I take care of myself spiritually, physically, and emotionally currently (and this does change depending on where I am at in Life), is I make sure to spend a few minutes each morning to journal and meditate- there are some fab 5 minute meditations on youtube.

I try to go out for a walk everyday especially if I am sitting at a computer all day (like today), I get my nails done once a month at a salon- that’s my little treat to myself as I spend all day looking at them tapping away on the keyboard! 

So make sure when you are creating your daily routine that you add in even just 10 minutes a day that is devoted to you and you only!

Find Your Single Mum Tribe

Solo parenting can be lonely! Let’s face it, there is no one there at the end of the day when the kids are in bed. Days in or out the house are often done alone, which can feel so draining and lonesome.

But it doesn’t have to be that way and creating a great support system will help you on your way to living abundantly as a single mum!

And don’t feel guilty about leaning on your friends and family for support. At the end of the day it takes a village to raise a child and spending time with loved ones and bonding with family who are not a part of your household is important for you and your children! 

And definitely don’t feel bad for wanting to have a personal life outside of your children either! It is also important for you to be the most empowered, abundant, and loving parent you can be.

Remember, you are a woman as well as a mother, and you deserve to be surrounded by aligned people, places, and experiences!

But if you are struggling to build a network around you then it’s time to start getting out there more.

Look out for local mother and baby groups, exercise classes, or single mum support groups, where you can find support from others in your situation or with similar interests.

If your kids are older then look for local meetups. There are often meetup groups on facebook or the meetup app dedicated to your local area where people chat and arrange meetups.

And if there isn’t one already then create one yourself!

Finding just one fellow single mum or friend who understands your situation can be life changing!

Celebrate Yourself, You Are Amazing

We always get so excited when our kids do something new or achieve something great. But make sure you celebrate yourself too!

You are doing amazing things every single day! So make sure that you are celebrating your wins too. I don’t care if it is that you got to the end of the laundry pile or wrote a whole novel!

Give yourself a pat on the back and treat yourself once in a while. 

Celebrating your wins, big or small is an essential act of Self-love and can really help you to boost your confidence even when times feel tough!

Acknowledging your efforts shifts your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. This positivity will help you approach challenges with much more optimism.

Plus, when you take a moment to acknowledge what you have achieved, you will stop some of the mum guilt in its tracks, and you will begin to feel more fulfilled.

Thriving As a single Mum

So to recap, you do not need to only Survive as a single mum… You can become the most Empowered and Thriving version of yourself which is essential to living your most abundant and joyful life, so…

Shift that mindset from I can’t do this, to, I am a fucking Boss!

Get your daily routine set and make sure you are adding in that important self care!

Get your finances together.

Make some new, aligned, and supportive friends.

And celebrate your damn self… because you are worth it!!!

What are your best tips for thriving as a single mum? Share them with us below.