Dating as a single mum can be so overwhelming, and occasionally very disheartening- I mean the dating world now is so hard to navigate for anyone, let alone if you’re also juggling single parenthood.

But, it isn’t all bad… It can also be an empowering opportunity for you to rediscover yourself as a woman (not just a mum!), connect with new people, and embrace falling in love on your terms!

I have written this post with the hope that it will arm and empower you with practical tips and mindset shifts, so you can step into the dating pool confidently whilst unapologetically owning your worth!

Remember ladies, you deserve nothing less than love and happiness regardless of your parenting status! So let’s make it happen for you!

Dating As A Single Mum Starts with Self-Love

Before you even consider downloading those dating apps for the first time, one of the most important things to do is take some time to reconnect with yourself and fill yourself with love- trust me this is crucial, as online dating can be an absolute shit show and you need to be strong!

I know as a single mum, your confidence may have taken a bit of a hit, but remember that You’re resilient, you’re nurturing, and you’re capable of running a whole house by yourself- you have a lot to offer, so start there and you will find you have more to give than you realise.

I am big on regularly Practicing self-care to make you feel confident and centered- I have some great self-care tips here. You need to make yourself a priority and remember you are important before you even think about your dating life.

Another way to elevate the love that you have for yourself is by using affirmations to boost your self-esteem. Affirmations are a fantastic way to cultivate a positive mindset and boost your confidence and self-esteem!

Know What You Bring to the Table

You are a single mum and have a whole lot to bring to the table, so make sure you know that before giving up your free time for just anybody! Your experience as a single mum adds incredible depth to who you are, and any new partner would be lucky to have you!

Embrace your status as a single mum, don’t hide away from it because you think potential dates would be put off- if they are, then they were never the right person for you and not worth a minute of your time anyway! 

Being a single mum has given you a strength and sense of empathy that not many others without your life experiences could claim! 

You’re managing life, kids, work, and now dating! And even though it is hard- you do it everyday because you are a damn boss! Focus on the amazing things you have achieved instead of dwelling on the negatives! 

Be unapologetic about your value- You deserve only the best and you deserve a good partner who recognizes that!

Set Clear Boundaries When dating As A Single Mum

It can be easy as a single mum to fall into the trap of being given the bare minimum and feeling obliged to just accept it- but you really don’t need to put up with that! As we discussed above- You are worth so much more than that shit!

Boundaries are there to protect your time, energy, and heart. I have learned the hard way that allowing someone to overstep my boundaries, always leads to heartbreak- usually mine! 

Be upfront about what you are looking for in a new relationship and what you expect from a romantic partner- and if they fall short- let them go. Believe me I have given men far more chances than they deserved, and they always let me down- because they knew they could get away with it!

Learn where your boundaries lay… Whether it is that you expect your new person to have respect for your role as a mum, display good communication skills and be consistent, or that you want a committed relationship (none of that situationship crap please!)- Do not compromise on your boundaries! 

Trust Your Instincts When Dating As A Single Mum

You know that odd feeling you get in your gut when something just doesn’t feel right? Yeah- that’s your instinct, and it is usually right!

Trusting your instincts can be hard- especially when you have a lot of trauma around dating and relationships. But learn to trust yourself and your instincts- Again I have learned the hard way!

It happened to me recently too- I was completely smitten and brushed those little niggles off as fear or anxiety as I so desperately wanted that man and the dreams he was filling my head with!

But guess what? I paid the price- my instincts were right and I was left picking up the pieces of my broken heart yet again. Had I listened to them, I wouldn’t have gotten so emotionally invested, and would have slowed things down!

So don’t rush into things and take your time to really get to now and trust someone. Some people can say all the right things which can throw you off but if it doesn’t feel right- then trust that you know what is best for you, and for your family!

Find The Balance Between Dating and Motherhood

Although it probably feels selfish at times, remember that it’s okay to prioritize yourself and have a personal life whilst also being a great mum.

I know it is easier said than done, but try to schedule regular date nights into you routines… even if you haven’t yet found any potential matches, or aren’t ready for the whole dating experience just yet, you can use this time just for you- go on solo dates or meet up with friends childfree for a change.

Doing this will not only help you on your self- love journey, but it also helps to create space and free up time for a potential partner to fit in with your busy lifestyle! You will know when you can plan dates, as you already have a sitter ready!

This may be easier for those of you who co-parent and have every other weekend off- I don’t by the way- and if you don’t either then look into arranging for a family member to have the kids once every couple of weeks, or even get a paid babysitter booked in regularly!

And on the subject of finding the time, it doesn’t matter what your situation is, you are unlikely to have an abundance of time on your hands- so make sure that you are being transparent with your potential dates about your responsibilities and time restrictions, so they have an understanding of what you are able to manage.

 Make Dating Fun Again

Dating doesn’t have to be serious ALL of the time— even if you are looking for a serious relationship, take your time and enjoy it!

You know, I have had some terrible dates and some terrible relationships. But I have also made some new friends whilst dating! So look at it more as a chance to meet new and interesting people and take things at your own pace.

Also, if you find that sitting across from someone in a restaurant and then worrying about who is paying the bill at the end, then maybe opt for low-pressure dates, such as a walk in the park, or going for a coffee, to take the pressure off!

One of the best dates I ever had was where we just walked round central London as though we were tourists! We went to the London eye, bought souvenirs at M&M world, and laughed at the boobies on the paintings in the museums! Honestly it was so fun and relaxed, there was no pressure at all- ok he wasn’t the guy for me, but I had the time of my life!

You are going to have some terrible dates too- honestly I have met my fair share of oddballs with online dating- but stay safe- and laugh at the hiccups! 

Celebrate Your Dating Wins

Part of why I started Single Mum Unhinged is that I wanted to romanticize and celebrate my life more and help other single mums do the same- so why not celebrate your dating wins- Big or Small?!

This is especially for those of you who are new to dating as a single parent- or have been out of the game for a long time- Every step in dating is progress worth acknowledging!

Went on a first date after years? Celebrate!

Set a healthy boundary? Celebrate!

Had the best date of your life? Celebrate!

Trusted your Intuition? Celebrate!

All of these Small victories will eventually lead to greater confidence and happiness! And we are always looking for a reason to celebrate!

Conclusion: Own Your Worth As a Single Mum

Hopefully by the end of this you will see that although it can feel overwhelming at times, dating as a single mum can be an empowering and exciting experience.

Make sure that you are prioritizing yourself, setting boundaries, and trusting your instincts, and you are sure to attract love that aligns with the absolutely amazing person you are!

Remember single mums, you are absolutely worthy of all the love, happiness, and romance that you desire!

And not despite being a single mum, but because of the Beautiful, sexy, and wonderful person that you are!